COVID-19: Our Brains, Our Bodies, Our Trauma. Part 3.
Part 3: Stay Connected
I am 7.5 months into the wild ride that is pandemic pregnancy. At my most recent OB appointment, my doc sent me home with a loaned blood pressure cuff and a fetal Doppler machine. Out of COVID-19 precaution, my next several appointments will be held over the phone; I will monitor my own blood pressure and use the hand-held ultrasound device to monitor baby’s heartbeat.
If you’re reading this and have ever carried a baby or been close with someone who has, you can perhaps imagine just how distracting it is to have constant access to a fetal heartbeat monitor.
So, yes. I tune into baby’s environment fairly often (that may or may not be an understatement) and what I am struck by is the rhythm within which she is living. The sound of her heartbeat, the sound of mine, and the sound of the fluid around her. Even when I am still, her world is full of rhythm. When I engage in self-regulation — yoga, song, walking — the flow and cadence becomes stronger. It is kind of an incredible thing.
We’ve explored rhythm and its role in self-regulation. Here we will explore it as it applies to relational regulation: the missing piece we need to soothe our activated stress responses (head over to Part 1 if you’re clueless as to what that means) and get our brains back on track.
First, breathe in — notice the pause at the top of the in-breath — then breathe out. Notice the pause before the next breath begins. Consider the stillness that lies in those pauses.
According to Dr. Bruce Perry, creator of the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics (NMT), our brains hold powerful associations between rhythm, relational presence, and regulation that begin in utero. The baby I’ve been eavesdropping on is coming to associate rhythm with safety. Once she is born, when she encounters stress in the form of an unmet need (hunger, thirst, a wet diaper), ideally a regulated caregiver — to be clear, this caregiver does not have to be me; biologically, others in our community of carers have this same ability— comes to meet the need and does so with warmth and rhythm. You’ve probably seen or experienced this. Caregivers may rub babies’ backs, bounce them, walk with them, or sing to them. The more this happens…
